First Assertion- This is Water

“In the day- to- day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such things as not worshiping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.” David Foster Wallace said this in his commencement speech, This is Water.

When I read this my heart dropped and my breath caught, because even though I have been raised Presbyterian Christian, exposed to the Baha’i Faith, and practiced Ananda Marga Yoga, I challenge the idea of spirituality and God. I find all of that hard to commit to in faith, because I find it hard to believe. So, I was scared: What do I worship? Vanity? Materialism?

I realized that I worship the earth, and vanity, and the universe. I also realized that it is possible to not worship anything. However, when you do not live to appreciate or attain beauty, intellect, God, or anything of those other ideas that one can worship, what are you living for?

When I asked myself this, I answered back: Happiness. But then, what is happiness? Happiness is what everyone lives for, but however they define happiness defines what they worship.

Seems complicated, but the point is: If you are living for something, you are worshiping something. I agree with Wallace on that. On the contrary, not everyone lives for something. Those are the people who are not playing the game- they are often unmotivated, and commit suicide. Those people are the only ones who don’t worship anything.

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Sardonically Sweating

I walk to my bus stop everyday. Still, most days sweat drips down my back by the time I get to the bus stop, because it’s hot. Not because I’m out of shape. At least that’s what I tell myself. When I’m switching to my mom’s house (as I do every other week), I haul way too many bags on the bus with me; And in turn, making my seat partner hate me. Hey, at least we have something in common. Because the AC was broken on the bus this morning, I was continuously becoming more sweaty on the ride to school. Who would’ve known: The universe hates me too! I try to relax and think about my beautiful nature filled walk to the bus stop, but all I can think about is the sweat slowly trickling down my back. I have a theory that sweat drips because it really, really wants to annoy everyone. It’s just trying to tell us to stop moving, forever. But hey, at least I’m at school now. Which also hates me.